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SingleWingGoombah
(@singlewinggoombah)
Gold
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 2070
September 16, 2019 5:31 am  

We have 3 practices a week, our attendance policy is:
Miss 1 practice - sit 1 quarter
Miss 2 practices - sit 1 half
Miss 3 practices - sit 1 full game

I had a mom email me yesterday saying her son made the A team for their hockey program and the practice schedules conflict on 2 days, and he would be going to hockey practice instead of football.  He would only make the 3rd practice of the week for the rest of the season and they understand he would only play one half each game.  She said she would understand if that is not acceptable as well, and that he would be pulled from the team.

My initial thought was that it is not ok.  It will hold everyone back, as he will miss Mondays practice which is install/game plan day.  And Wednesdays which is our defensive practice.  The attendance policy is not meant as a long term thing.  I do not think it is acceptable or fair to the team to allow this.  What are your thoughts?


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CoachDP
(@coachdp)
Kryptonite
Joined: 10 years ago
Posts: 17322
North Carolina
High School
September 16, 2019 5:46 am  

My initial thought was that it is not ok.

Your initial thought is correct.

--Dave

"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

The Mission Statement: "I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go."

#BattleReady newhope


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dollar
(@dollar)
Bronze
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 128
September 16, 2019 6:18 am  

Just another reminder that parents almost ALWAYS only care about their son.

If the team does good that makes things better, but it in no way the most important thing to almost every Parent.

The parents of the QB on an 0-8 team will still be happy with the season and call it a good year.

I would follow my policy but also make adjustments.

I would put him in a position and playing time where it doesn't matter if he shows up or not.


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ZACH
 ZACH
(@bucksweep58)
Diamond
Joined: 10 years ago
Posts: 9380
Coach
September 16, 2019 7:05 am  

As a coach with no kids (i hope)

Missing practice is not the kids fault unless they drive. So i stopped doing what you are now bc of that.

If you missed you didnt start, thats all.

Anywho

1. Mom could just have quit and not given you the courtesy of explanation or phone call.

2. Kid is playing hockey so what, he still wants to be part of the "team"  thats maturity you dont see a lot of.

3. Your rule is great for a competitive national traveling team that "select/premier" or whatever. If parents pay then the kid should play a bit.

Anyway, youre in a bind of morals. Either dont bend and set a standard for yourself like you apparently do to your team or make an exception for a kid to play a little in a game.

I can explain it to you, I can't understand if for you.


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CoachDP
(@coachdp)
Kryptonite
Joined: 10 years ago
Posts: 17322
North Carolina
High School
September 16, 2019 7:10 am  

Mom could just have quit and not given you the courtesy of explanation or phone call.

True.  But Mom could also not have overextended her kid.  Doing hockey practices, football practices, hockey games and football games at the same time is ridiculous.  Let him simply go play hockey.  Nothing wrong with that.

--Dave

"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

The Mission Statement: "I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go."

#BattleReady newhope


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SingleWingGoombah
(@singlewinggoombah)
Gold
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 2070
September 16, 2019 8:24 am  

As a coach with no kids (i hope)

Missing practice is not the kids fault unless they drive. So i stopped doing what you are now bc of that.

If you missed you didnt start, thats all.

Anywho

1. Mom could just have quit and not given you the courtesy of explanation or phone call.

2. Kid is playing hockey so what, he still wants to be part of the "team"  thats maturity you dont see a lot of.

3. Your rule is great for a competitive national traveling team that "select/premier" or whatever. If parents pay then the kid should play a bit.

Anyway, youre in a bind of morals. Either dont bend and set a standard for yourself like you apparently do to your team or make an exception for a kid to play a little in a game.

I don't think that attendance policy is over bearing.  You can miss 2/3 of practice and still play half a game.  I think that is plenty fair even for a rec team.  Kids need to learn the responsibility of commitment too.


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SmakAtak
(@smakatak)
Bronze
Joined: 5 years ago
Posts: 345
September 16, 2019 10:27 am  

What position does this kid play?  Is he a critical starter?  What's the drop off between him and his backup?  Does his absence create a domino affect where many players will have to shift positions?

I know these might seem like the wrong questions because they distill it down to "How bad do you need him".  I admire those of you who are strong enough or have enough depth to overlook this and stick with your guns.  I'm not in such a position and I care about winning too much.  So maybe these questions are not relevant.  But I'm still curious. 


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JustPlay
(@rjbthor)
Silver
Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 548
September 16, 2019 10:36 am  

True.  But Mom could also not have overextended her kid.  Doing hockey practices, football practices, hockey games and football games at the same time is ridiculous.  Let him simply go play hockey.  Nothing wrong with that.

--Dave

I felt that way a few years ago. Then I started to think I don't want to limit opportunities regardless of why. I want basketball players and hockey players and wrestlers to play football. I don't want them specializing at a young age. Are we better as a team because of this? No. I think it cost us a title because my players were warn out from double duty. But are the players better for it. I would say yes.

As to missing 66% of practice  - That is far too much time to miss for him to be a starter even if he is a stud. Make him your utility player. Fill in Freddy.

nothing replaces effort. nothing replaces the mind. One with out the other is a waste of time.


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CoachBigD
(@coachbigd)
Bronze
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 126
September 16, 2019 2:46 pm  

If he continues to play, I'd only play him on special teams in one half only, given your attendance rules.


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mahonz
(@mahonz)
Kryptonite
Joined: 11 years ago
Posts: 22951
September 16, 2019 2:57 pm  

We have 3 practices a week, our attendance policy is:
Miss 1 practice - sit 1 quarter
Miss 2 practices - sit 1 half
Miss 3 practices - sit 1 full game

I had a mom email me yesterday saying her son made the A team for their hockey program and the practice schedules conflict on 2 days, and he would be going to hockey practice instead of football.  He would only make the 3rd practice of the week for the rest of the season and they understand he would only play one half each game.  She said she would understand if that is not acceptable as well, and that he would be pulled from the team.

My initial thought was that it is not ok.  It will hold everyone back, as he will miss Mondays practice which is install/game plan day.  And Wednesdays which is our defensive practice.  The attendance policy is not meant as a long term thing.  I do not think it is acceptable or fair to the team to allow this.  What are your thoughts?

He is now stealing from the team.

Mom gave you an out...take it.

What is beautiful, lives forever.


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CoachDP
(@coachdp)
Kryptonite
Joined: 10 years ago
Posts: 17322
North Carolina
High School
September 16, 2019 3:05 pm  

I felt that way a few years ago. Then I started to think I don't want to limit opportunities regardless of why. I want basketball players and hockey players and wrestlers to play football. I don't want them specializing at a young age.

I couldn't care less about specializing, or whether he's playing all sports.  My first concern is safety.  How does he protect himself as a football player when he only attends one practice per week?  How does he get enough rest to recuperate for one sport, let alone two?  What about overuse?  Recovery?

--Dave

"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

The Mission Statement: "I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go."

#BattleReady newhope


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CoachDP
(@coachdp)
Kryptonite
Joined: 10 years ago
Posts: 17322
North Carolina
High School
September 16, 2019 3:07 pm  

I know these might seem like the wrong questions because they distill it down to "How bad do you need him".  I admire those of you who are strong enough or have enough depth to overlook this and stick with your guns.  I'm not in such a position and I care about winning too much.

I care about winning, too.  But it's not the only thing I care about.

--Dave

"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

The Mission Statement: "I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go."

#BattleReady newhope


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Bob Goodman
(@bob-goodman)
Diamond
Joined: 9 years ago
Posts: 9492
New Jersey
3rd - 5th
Asst Coach
September 16, 2019 7:45 pm  

I don't think that attendance policy is over bearing.  You can miss 2/3 of practice and still play half a game.  I think that is plenty fair even for a rec team.

Yeah, but...every week??  Then it's overbearing on your team!  You already wrote that you'd intended that as a temporary rule only, which I understood as meaning it'd be for a player who had some temporary difficulty, not a permanent arrangment.

We had a player who was playing up because of weight who, for almost an entire season, left our games at halftime to play soccer, and I thought that was a bit much.  In another season, a quarterback who stopped playing mid-season for choir.  (Well, he really could sing!)  A couple times a boy and girl arrived late for pregame warmups because they'd come from playing in a basketball tournament.  Another season, a boy who quit for much of the season to play flag football whose schedule didn't even conflict with our games or practices!  (Coach Eric cajoled him back to tackle.)

Two organized sports in a season, the whole season, is asking too much.  What's the complaint?  Just choose between football and hockey.


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SingleWingGoombah
(@singlewinggoombah)
Gold
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 2070
September 17, 2019 5:42 am  

What position does this kid play?  Is he a critical starter?  What's the drop off between him and his backup?  Does his absence create a domino affect where many players will have to shift positions?

I know these might seem like the wrong questions because they distill it down to "How bad do you need him".  I admire those of you who are strong enough or have enough depth to overlook this and stick with your guns.  I'm not in such a position and I care about winning too much.  So maybe these questions are not relevant.  But I'm still curious.

I purposely left that type of information out, as I did not think it should be considered as that would extend in to the special treatment.  We had 19 kids, this puts as at 18.  Our league rule is every player has to start on one side of the ball if you have less than 22.  I have decided on what to do already so I can share the rest.

He was a 5th grader playing up on a 6th grade team.  He was a striper, he played right tackle on O as his starting spot.  Him not being on the team makes us better.  This is why I wanted to get some advice to make sure there was no bias in what I thought.  If my only reason to let him go was because it makes his team better, then I would hope I would have let him stay. 

Ultimately, it was not a precedent I wanted to set.  I did not think it was fair for all the other kids on the team, so I decided to let him focus completely on hockey.  I think it is the best decision for him too for some of the reasons Dave said.  Both are demanding sports, he needs some down time for recovery, and to get to just be a kid.


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Wing-n-It
(@robert)
Platinum Moderator
Joined: 11 years ago
Posts: 3872
United States
September 17, 2019 5:59 am  

I was pretty unbending with my rules which were similar to yours.

My parents knew I don't budge. you miss a practice you don't start.

I had one player I made an exception for and I think I mentioned this a while ago, but one of my players dads, just before the season started, passed away while at home with the kids of a seizure. Mom was out shopping. the kid had therapy on one of our practice days every week. I wasn't about to let that affect the kids time with football. His dad was going to be one of my coaches. 

2 Things my offense will always have is a Wing and a Wedge


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