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Org splitting...what to do?

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CHARLIEDONTSURF
(@charleydontsurf)
Copper
Joined: 4 years ago
Posts: 98
 

But he never said he had to coach in the same club his kids play in.

Read more carefully, hoss.  I didn't say he had to coach anywhere. And importantly he didn't clarify.  He said:

"The org I coach with is splitting which brings about a tough decision. *** What should we do?" (emphasis mine).

What should we do....

I don't know what he and/or his son(s) should do.  But one of two things is true if his kid(s) play at the NewOrg:

- He's going to coach at the NewOrg
- He's not going to coach at the NewOrg

I cautioned that, either way, it could be a bad decision if he can't overcome his resentment toward the NewOrg.  Resentful coaches and parents have a way of wrecking an otherwise harmonious vibe.  Whether he stays coaching at the current organization is irrelevant.

But thank you for, uh, pointing that out, I guess.


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CHARLIEDONTSURF
(@charleydontsurf)
Copper
Joined: 4 years ago
Posts: 98
 

As Wing n it alluded to, you need to ask detailed questions and investigate the answers to make a sound decision.***  If they can not get it correct out of the gate I see them as 1 and done. Seen that happen around here several times.

Hitting the nail on the head here.  Seen many best laid plans fail -not for lack of passion- but lack of logistics.

Passionate people, including -and probably especially- passionate football coaches, tend to think in terms of strategy and tactics, not logistics, when doing new things.


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SingleWingGoombah
(@singlewinggoombah)
Gold
Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 2070
 

But he never said he had to coach in the same club his kids play in.

Have to?  No.  But who would want to coach in a different org than your kids are in?


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gumby_in_co
(@gumby_in_co)
Platinum
Joined: 11 years ago
Posts: 4344
 

The org I coach with and most importantly my kids play in is splitting which brings about a tough decision. The people starting the new org were with us for one year and secretly recruited one of our coaches who will be able to get most of his team to follow. I do not think going is right because I feel what the did was dirty but most of my kids teammates they've played with the past couple of years will be going. What should we do?

You should get on the phone.

I've been part of many sports orgs over the last 15 years since my 20 year old son started. Over that time, I've seen many "great migrations". In my experience, most orgs experience this at some level. The "worst" one I've experienced was when 3 full hockey teams (about 45 kids) were leaving for a "hot" new club that used words like "elite" "professional coaches and locker rooms" and "AAA experience". This was all in the age group that I was in charge of.  Trying my best to be objective, I'd say about 15 of those kids had a legitimate reason to leave.  We dropped the ball when it came to this team. Their HC, a former NHL player quit mid season. A few "coup leaders" started encouraging other parents to jump ship, using off-season leagues and clinics to recruit. As a new age level director, I inherited the mess that "we" made. "Welcome to the BoD. Your first assignment is to stop 60% of your age group from leaving." I officially took over in May, 3 months after the season ended. I personally called every family in our age group (over 75 families). I introduced myself, I told them how important they and their son/daughter was to our org. I had previously spoken with each coach (minus the former NHL guy) and asked about each player, taking notes along the way. I asked if we could expect them back the next year. If the answer was anything other than "yes", I asked why, and I listened.

Registration had been open since April, but since I was new, I had nothing to compare the numbers to. I had been told that many people waited until the last minute to register. Tryouts were in August. I made monthly phone calls and sent weekly emails to the "no's" and "maybe's". I took the complaints and suggestions to the BoD and tried to come up with solutions and/or improvements. I communicated the changes/improvements to all of my families.

When tryouts rolled around, we ended up losing 10 families. Some of them were long time and valued members and that hurt, but going from losing 45 to losing 10 was a great relief. Then, we got about a dozen kids who left another org to join us, which was about normal.

I can't sit here and tell you that my efforts were responsible for preventing 35 families from leaving. That magic number "45" was based largely on rumor and conjecture. What I do know is that I wasn't going to sit around and let it happen.

Find out specifically why your kids are leaving. Take an inventory and find out if your current club is as good as it can be (it's not). Make the changes, then make sure everyone knows about them.

Lastly, it takes a lot more than a rope to be a cowboy. A lot of parents talk about starting a new org/club. Few of them actually do it. Fewer still start anything that's worth a damn. Out of the 10 families who left to the hot new club, 7 came back after 1 season.

When in doot . . . glass and oot.


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GP
 GP
(@gpenn44)
Gold
Joined: 8 years ago
Posts: 1670
 

Always found the "youth football loyalty test" amusing. As DP pointed out, almost similar to a gang/mob mentality where once young kids choose an allegiance, they owe that org their undying loyalty for life.

Our league has transfer rules to prevent "poaching" - the Org Head must sign off on a player switching from one org to another within our league (even if they are moving up in age group) or the player must sit out a year. Sad part is actual poaching is minimal / ineffective as the top teams don't bother with it and if mid-tier and below teams want to try to poach from us, best of luck. Instead it gets abused and becomes a control / hostage scenario.

I never recruit from opponents but have had kids seek me out begging to join our team. Orgs very rarely agree to sign their release. It's a shame. ONE time an org signed a release to us - first their President said over his dead body then only after weeks of the father raising hell, reaching out to others within the org, etc. did he finally sign-off days before Game 1.  ::) Our org has always released anyone who requested - a policy I insist on.

There's a bit of a similar dynamic when it comes to HS / College players transferring and being branded "disloyal." Meanwhile coaches jumps ship left & right for better opportunities and are just doing what's best for their families. Players deserve just as much right to do the same.

I view these things much like dating. Focus on making yourself (your team/program) as attractive as possible and you won't need to worry too much. Anyone wants out, best of luck and we look forward to seeing you on the field.

"Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated." - Lou Holtz


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Bob Goodman
(@bob-goodman)
Diamond
Joined: 10 years ago
Posts: 9578
 

Have to?  No.  But who would want to coach in a different org than your kids are in?

There's probably a few parents who'd specifically want that.  They like the game, their kids like the game, but they don't want to have pressure on each other for att'n.  Don't want a factor that might cause strain in the family.  There's even doctors & dentists who don't want to work on their own family, teachers who don't want their own kids in the class.

However, in this case I'm mentioning it not because I suspect a specific desire to avoid family, but just that the coach prefers the existing club, while the kids want to stay w their friends who prefer the new one.  Seems it'd satisfy everyone best if they went their own way.


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SingleWingGoombah
(@singlewinggoombah)
Gold
Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 2070
 

There's probably a few parents who'd specifically want that.  They like the game, their kids like the game, but they don't want to have pressure on each other for att'n.  Don't want a factor that might cause strain in the family.  There's even doctors & dentists who don't want to work on their own family, teachers who don't want their own kids in the class.

However, in this case I'm mentioning it not because I suspect a specific desire to avoid family, but just that the coach prefers the existing club, while the kids want to stay w their friends who prefer the new one.  Seems it'd satisfy everyone best if they went their own way.

Maybe the dad should want to be able to spend more time with his kids... even if not coaching them, the car ride home, less chance of overlapping games in different locations... 


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Dusty Ol Fart
(@youth-coach)
Diamond
Joined: 8 years ago
Posts: 7660
 

Our Org has written rules regarding playing within your School District, even private students.  We are also about 20 minutes north of a fairly large city and even they have a gentlemen's agreement with the Outlying Orgs regarding Players.  If anyone comes in they call and see if its OK to play. We have never once stopped a player or coach from going elsewhere. 

Very Little "Bad Blood" among the Youth Leagues. 

Not MPP... ONE TASK!  Teach them!  🙂


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