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coachstu123
(@coachstu123)
Copper
Joined: 1 year ago
Posts: 15
March 5, 2020 9:58 am  

I'll add to my previous post.  I just endured by far my worst experience as a coach, after moving back home after 30 years.  I had been coaching in the Midwest, I moved back South.  Yes!  Kids are very much different in these areas.  Parents are different in these areas.  I could not believe the inability to take any sort of construction or criticism (if that's what you want to call it) with the kids here in my new southern hometown.  Is this an East Coast thing or am I just in the Twilight Zone?  An example, we were doing O-line basics.  Working on stances and first two steps.  I was not yelling, not angry just very calmly stressing with kids to shorten up those first steps.  Say to a kid in a normal tone of voice, "shorten it up to six inch steps Johnny".  Holy hell!  That was enough to send most of them into a full-scale temper tantrum.  Several cried insisting they were doing it right.  And I'm not talking about after several corrections.  This would be the first very polite correction.  I was absolutely dumbfounded.  And it was this way with all instruction.  And these were 12 year olds.  Like I was assigned to a team full of kids with Asbergers or something.  I seriously thought to start videotaping this stuff and sending it to Dr. Phil.  This was a general vibe amongst many of the kids on the team, not all of them.  Forget cracking the whip on them, you'd be lucky to get them through warm ups without stopping several times to provide positive encouragement to half the team.  Is this something you guys are seeing a lot of?    


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gumby_in_co
(@gumby_in_co)
Platinum
Joined: 11 years ago
Posts: 4178
March 5, 2020 11:53 am  

@coachstu123

Mahonz and I are old farts. We are experiencing an increasing number of young parents that we simply cannot relate to. Sorry for turning this political, but I think the mindset of 20 somethings who coddle their kids and rig the game for unearned success is related to the fervent enthusiasm for $15 minimum wage, universal basic income, free college, free healthcare, etc. 

Entitlement and football don't go together at all, so it's no surprise to me that people of this mindset would have a disdain for any sport or situation where everything must be earned.

 

When in doot . . . glass and oot.


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COCoachKC
(@cocoachkc)
Bronze
Joined: 11 years ago
Posts: 352
Colorado
Retired
March 5, 2020 4:20 pm  
Posted by: @gumby_in_co

@coachstu123

Mahonz and I are old farts. We are experiencing an increasing number of young parents that we simply cannot relate to. Sorry for turning this political, but I think the mindset of 20 somethings who coddle their kids and rig the game for unearned success is related to the fervent enthusiasm for $15 minimum wage, universal basic income, free college, free healthcare, etc. 

Entitlement and football don't go together at all, so it's no surprise to me that people of this mindset would have a disdain for any sport or situation where everything must be earned.

 

Lar,

I agree with you 100%.  All three of my boys (28, 25, 23) would agree with you. They have told me that they are embarrassed to be a part of this generation.  They are finding these people hard to work with/for.  They tend to prefer working with the old farts like us.

The more I read, the more I realize I got out at the right time.  No urge to scratch that itch.  I do miss the "old" days when we could push the kids hard (because we knew they would surprise themselves) and get positive results (I still think about Novak in the Winner's Circle) and had the support of the parents.  I just couldn't handle dealing with the parents when the kids were 100% behind my coaching but their parent(s) weren't.  To many conflicted kids.  Sounds like more of that today.

Kent


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coachstu123
(@coachstu123)
Copper
Joined: 1 year ago
Posts: 15
March 7, 2020 11:40 am  

@gumby_in_co

I think all of what you said is pretty much right.  It is a "victim" society.  More and more parents are looking to be offended than to instill some sort of discipline in their child.      

 

This post was modified 9 months ago by coachstu123

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coachstu123
(@coachstu123)
Copper
Joined: 1 year ago
Posts: 15
March 7, 2020 11:47 am  
Posted by: @cocoachkc
Posted by: @gumby_in_co

@coachstu123

Mahonz and I are old farts. We are experiencing an increasing number of young parents that we simply cannot relate to. Sorry for turning this political, but I think the mindset of 20 somethings who coddle their kids and rig the game for unearned success is related to the fervent enthusiasm for $15 minimum wage, universal basic income, free college, free healthcare, etc. 

Entitlement and football don't go together at all, so it's no surprise to me that people of this mindset would have a disdain for any sport or situation where everything must be earned.

 

Lar,

I agree with you 100%.  All three of my boys (28, 25, 23) would agree with you. They have told me that they are embarrassed to be a part of this generation.  They are finding these people hard to work with/for.  They tend to prefer working with the old farts like us.

The more I read, the more I realize I got out at the right time.  No urge to scratch that itch.  I do miss the "old" days when we could push the kids hard (because we knew they would surprise themselves) and get positive results (I still think about Novak in the Winner's Circle) and had the support of the parents.  I just couldn't handle dealing with the parents when the kids were 100% behind my coaching but their parent(s) weren't.  To many conflicted kids.  Sounds like more of that today.

Kent

I was a practicing attorney for the past 20 years.  I'm on pause to take care of my mother who has Alzheimers.  I have been considering becoming a teacher.  But I honestly can't see dealing with this generation and their parents.  Last summer I coached a boy in baseball whose father is the dean of Education at a major University.  I mentioned to him about becoming a teacher.  He could not stress enough that becoming a teacher would be a big mistake for me and was adamant that I am doing far my good as a coach than I could ever do as a teacher.  

You mention your sons being embarassed to be part of this generation.  Hell, my son is 19 and he is embarassed.  He started coaching last year and even he mentioned how much things have changed in just the short time that he played.  

 


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Bob Goodman
(@bob-goodman)
Diamond
Joined: 9 years ago
Posts: 9515
New Jersey
3rd - 5th
Asst Coach
March 7, 2020 1:44 pm  
Posted by: @coachstu123

I'll add to my previous post.  I just endured by far my worst experience as a coach, after moving back home after 30 years.  I had been coaching in the Midwest, I moved back South.  Yes!  Kids are very much different in these areas.  Parents are different in these areas.  I could not believe the inability to take any sort of construction or criticism (if that's what you want to call it) with the kids here in my new southern hometown.  Is this an East Coast thing or am I just in the Twilight Zone?

Could you please be more specific about the geography?  You say "South" but then "East Coast", so do you mean Southeast near the coast?

An example, we were doing O-line basics.  Working on stances and first two steps.  I was not yelling, not angry just very calmly stressing with kids to shorten up those first steps.  Say to a kid in a normal tone of voice, "shorten it up to six inch steps Johnny".  Holy hell!  That was enough to send most of them into a full-scale temper tantrum.  Several cried insisting they were doing it right.  And I'm not talking about after several corrections.  This would be the first very polite correction.  I was absolutely dumbfounded.  And it was this way with all instruction.  And these were 12 year olds.  Like I was assigned to a team full of kids with Asbergers or something.  I seriously thought to start videotaping this stuff and sending it to Dr. Phil.  This was a general vibe amongst many of the kids on the team, not all of them.  Forget cracking the whip on them, you'd be lucky to get them through warm ups without stopping several times to provide positive encouragement to half the team.  Is this something you guys are seeing a lot of? 

 

 I saw a ton of it teaching adults returning to college in New York City ~20 years ago.  In class discussion of a subject (biology or other natural science), students would complain about being factually corrected as "rude".  And most of them reacting so were definitely saying such things to gain leverage as a group.  Like the one being corrected on an answer saying that was rude, and then a couple others chiming in that it was indeed rude.  It happened mostly when the students were women, but that may be because college students now are preponderantly women.


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terrypjohnson
(@terrypjohnson)
Bronze
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 287
United States
Head Coach
March 8, 2020 6:17 pm  
Posted by: @coachstu123

I'll add to my previous post.  I just endured by far my worst experience as a coach, after moving back home after 30 years.  I had been coaching in the Midwest, I moved back South.  Yes!  Kids are very much different in these areas.  Parents are different in these areas.  I could not believe the inability to take any sort of construction or criticism (if that's what you want to call it) with the kids here in my new southern hometown.  Is this an East Coast thing or am I just in the Twilight Zone?  An example, we were doing O-line basics.  Working on stances and first two steps.  I was not yelling, not angry just very calmly stressing with kids to shorten up those first steps.  Say to a kid in a normal tone of voice, "shorten it up to six inch steps Johnny".  Holy hell!  That was enough to send most of them into a full-scale temper tantrum.  Several cried insisting they were doing it right.  And I'm not talking about after several corrections.  This would be the first very polite correction.  I was absolutely dumbfounded.  And it was this way with all instruction.  And these were 12 year olds.  Like I was assigned to a team full of kids with Asbergers or something.  I seriously thought to start videotaping this stuff and sending it to Dr. Phil.  This was a general vibe amongst many of the kids on the team, not all of them.  Forget cracking the whip on them, you'd be lucky to get them through warm ups without stopping several times to provide positive encouragement to half the team.  Is this something you guys are seeing a lot of?    

I live and coach in the southeast. My experience has been one of two extremes (and believe it or not, these were on the same team).

1) The group of parents Coach Stu talked about. They think I'm Woody Hayes because I stress the need to be physical in every single drill. As one parent said, "I don't know why he's always challenging them to get better on every rep".

2) Those not in the first group think that I haven't gone far enough. This sentence summarizes their thoughts, "What kind of coach are you if you don't drop 'F' bombs and scream and yell at the kids? I'm old school, and that's wrong with football today..."

Our numbers were lower last year than they were during my first season. I tried to recruit several kids from baseball and basketball (I coach three sports), but parents wouldn't allow them to play for fear of concussions (even after I bombarded them with data). There was also a travel ball league that launched last fall that lured a few players away from our local rec league. We only had the same number of teams because my city had 28 players and we split into two teams because of the MPR.

I hope that my story is more of an outlier than a trend. I'd like to keep coaching for awhile... even after my kids grow up.

Coach Terry

 

Fight 'em until Hell freezes over, then fight 'em on the ice -- Dutch Meyer


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