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What Life Lessons does Football Teach

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Coach Kyle
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I like Dave Cisar's mission statement, "To develop a love and appreciation in our players so they can continue to play a game that teaches live lessons like no other."

But what life lessons does football teach?

My opinion is that it teaches grit, resilience, and team work.  

Deaths while walking 4,743Deaths from football 12


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gumby_in_co
(@gumby_in_co)
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To me, it's the last bastion of healthy masculinity. The Mothers of America seem hell bent on raising non-binary children while I believe the world needs competent men and women more than ever. I say "masculinity" knowing that I have a girl on the team. I think it's important that young women have an element of masculinity as well. Just knowing it's there if they ever need it. 

I seem to be surrounded by "men" who don't know how to winterize their irrigation system, or how to turn it on in the Spring. They don't know how to change a flat or change their oil. Football is my battlefield to stop the defeat of competence and accountability. 

Football allows us to teach young people how to embrace and control their aggression and rage. By encouraging it, we provide them an outlet. By teaching discipline and control, we teach them that there is a time an place for it. By teaching respect, we teach them to compete fiercely with an adversary, but show compassion when the battle is over. By instilling confidence we forge kids who don't pick on the helpless and will make a stand when they see injustice.

I feel that there's a lot at stake. 

When in doot . . . glass and oot.


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Coach Kyle
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Posted by: @gumby_in_co

To me, it's the last bastion of healthy masculinity. The Mothers of America seem hell bent on raising non-binary children while I believe the world needs competent men and women more than ever. I say "masculinity" knowing that I have a girl on the team. I think it's important that young women have an element of masculinity as well. Just knowing it's there if they ever need it. 

I seem to be surrounded by "men" who don't know how to winterize their irrigation system, or how to turn it on in the Spring. They don't know how to change a flat or change their oil. Football is my battlefield to stop the defeat of competence and accountability. 

Football allows us to teach young people how to embrace and control their aggression and rage. By encouraging it, we provide them an outlet. By teaching discipline and control, we teach them that there is a time an place for it. By teaching respect, we teach them to compete fiercely with an adversary, but show compassion when the battle is over. By instilling confidence we forge kids who don't pick on the helpless and will make a stand when they see injustice.

I feel that there's a lot at stake. 

This is weird to me... probably because I'm a millennial. "Masculine" isn't exactly a bad word... but I feel like it's a word that I am avoiding right now lol. I also don't own an irrigation system. I've never changed my own oil. That being said, I'm all for discipline and accountability. I'm ok with the concept of "Non-binary", but I have seen a fair share of people who are using that as a diversion to be obnoxious. I stay away from all discussions related to the topic. Feels like you're just a target.

Embracing and controlling aggression also sounds like a bunch of words I wouldn't choose. There have been some studies on whether hitting a punching bag is a release of anger or if it merely provokes more. Turns out, it provokes more. So I stay away from that approach. Alternatively, I don't think you lose anything by avoiding anger in football. Now... dealing with frustration... that's definitely a life lesson. Dealing with frustration that is cause by a literal person holding you back. That's a life lesson. That's some adversity. And I think you lose not one ounce of strength or skill by telling them to calm down, forget the anger, and give it your best shot. For me there's not a whipsaw of emotions. There's simply the single emotion. You give everything you've got, and you disregard everything else, even the smack talk of the player across from you. 

I'm all for making a stand.

Deaths while walking 4,743Deaths from football 12


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IMMIRU
(@immiru)
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"For Youth, as it crosses the threshold into manhood, football has become a rallying point to build courage when courage seems to die, to restore faith when there seems little cause for faith, to create hope as hope becomes forlorn."  
 
                                                               – General Douglas MacArthur
 ​


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gumby_in_co
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Posted by: @coach-kyle

This is weird to me... probably because I'm a millennial. "Masculine" isn't exactly a bad word... but I feel like it's a word that I am avoiding right now lol.

Precisely. It has become a word to be avoided and people of my generation and the ones who came before me bear a lot of that responsibility. It used to be cool . . . no that's the wrong phrase. It used to be that if you didn't want to beat up a gay guy, it was because you must be gay yourself. That was very, very wrong. So it should be no surprise that the term "toxic masculinity" came to be. So I'm trying to clean things up a little and teach that the "right kind" of masculinity is nothing to be ashamed of. I took some crap in the Marines shortly after Clinton implemented "don't ask, don't tell". My opinion that there have been, are and will be gays in the military was not popular. Neither was my assertion that someone's sexual orientation had nothing to do with their ability to fight. My stance came from a place of being secure in myself and I thought their stance came from being insecure. Point is, to raise truly strong young men means to raise young men who are secure enough to have compassion and empathy.

I've never changed my own oil.

Maybe a poor example . . . maybe not, LOL. Seriously, there are situations where someone has to take action and solve problems while everyone else observes and debates.

I'm ok with the concept of "Non-binary", but I have seen a fair share of people who are using that as a diversion to be obnoxious. I stay away from all discussions related to the topic. Feels like you're just a target.

Wow, we are on the same page there, brother. To each their own. None of my business. Just don't ask me to be a part of your mental gymnastics. I will do my best to respect people and not offend, but I'm too damn old to play the pronoun game or avoid micro aggressions.

Embracing and controlling aggression also sounds like a bunch of words I wouldn't choose. There have been some studies on whether hitting a punching bag is a release of anger or if it merely provokes more. Turns out, it provokes more. So I stay away from that approach. Alternatively, I don't think you lose anything by avoiding anger in football. Now... dealing with frustration... that's definitely a life lesson. Dealing with frustration that is cause by a literal person holding you back. That's a life lesson. That's some adversity. And I think you lose not one ounce of strength or skill by telling them to calm down, forget the anger, and give it your best shot. For me there's not a whipsaw of emotions. There's simply the single emotion. You give everything you've got, and you disregard everything else, even the smack talk of the player across from you. 

Like it or not, we share 99% of our DNA with chimps. I am absolutely terrified of chimps. I would rather take my chances with a half dozen grizzly bears than one freaking chimpanzee. That is our nature. Football helps us understand our nature and harness it. As far as anger, etc?  The best coach I've ever coached with used to say that you play and coach with your heart on your sleeve. Be an open book on the football field. If you want to scream, scream. If you want to cry, cry. It's all about turning that switch on and off. It teaches the skill of turning off the emotion when it's time to do so. I used to want teams and players with ice water in their veins. Never too up, never too down. Keenan Mahoney showed me the folly in that line of thinking.

 

 

When in doot . . . glass and oot.


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CoachDP
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Posted by: @coach-kyle

But what life lessons does football teach?

I think it only really teaches the lessons that we choose to point out.  And if we aren't making note of it to our players, then I doubt they are paying much attention.

--Dave

"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

The Mission Statement: "I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go."

#BattleReady newhope


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CoachDP
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How you apply your mission statement is probably more important than what your mission statement says.

--Dave

 

"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

The Mission Statement: "I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go."

#BattleReady newhope


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Coach Kyle
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@coachdp

In Michigan they're completely unnecessary IMO... I do have a lot of Creeping Charlie though. If I ever want to kill that off I will probably need to help out the grass quite a bit.

As for the oil I trust Moe. I probably should try it one of these days. I've looked up how to do it. Doesn't look too hard at all. Takes less time and money. 

Deaths while walking 4,743Deaths from football 12


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Coach Kyle
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Posted by: @gumby_in_co
Posted by: @coach-kyle

This is weird to me... probably because I'm a millennial. "Masculine" isn't exactly a bad word... but I feel like it's a word that I am avoiding right now lol.

Precisely. It has become a word to be avoided and people of my generation and the ones who came before me bear a lot of that responsibility. It used to be cool . . . no that's the wrong phrase. It used to be that if you didn't want to beat up a gay guy, it was because you must be gay yourself. That was very, very wrong. So it should be no surprise that the term "toxic masculinity" came to be. So I'm trying to clean things up a little and teach that the "right kind" of masculinity is nothing to be ashamed of. I took some crap in the Marines shortly after Clinton implemented "don't ask, don't tell". My opinion that there have been, are and will be gays in the military was not popular. Neither was my assertion that someone's sexual orientation had nothing to do with their ability to fight. My stance came from a place of being secure in myself and I thought their stance came from being insecure. Point is, to raise truly strong young men means to raise young men who are secure enough to have compassion and empathy.

I've never changed my own oil.

Maybe a poor example . . . maybe not, LOL. Seriously, there are situations where someone has to take action and solve problems while everyone else observes and debates.

I'm ok with the concept of "Non-binary", but I have seen a fair share of people who are using that as a diversion to be obnoxious. I stay away from all discussions related to the topic. Feels like you're just a target.

Wow, we are on the same page there, brother. To each their own. None of my business. Just don't ask me to be a part of your mental gymnastics. I will do my best to respect people and not offend, but I'm too damn old to play the pronoun game or avoid micro aggressions.

Embracing and controlling aggression also sounds like a bunch of words I wouldn't choose. There have been some studies on whether hitting a punching bag is a release of anger or if it merely provokes more. Turns out, it provokes more. So I stay away from that approach. Alternatively, I don't think you lose anything by avoiding anger in football. Now... dealing with frustration... that's definitely a life lesson. Dealing with frustration that is cause by a literal person holding you back. That's a life lesson. That's some adversity. And I think you lose not one ounce of strength or skill by telling them to calm down, forget the anger, and give it your best shot. For me there's not a whipsaw of emotions. There's simply the single emotion. You give everything you've got, and you disregard everything else, even the smack talk of the player across from you. 

Like it or not, we share 99% of our DNA with chimps. I am absolutely terrified of chimps. I would rather take my chances with a half dozen grizzly bears than one freaking chimpanzee. That is our nature. Football helps us understand our nature and harness it. As far as anger, etc?  The best coach I've ever coached with used to say that you play and coach with your heart on your sleeve. Be an open book on the football field. If you want to scream, scream. If you want to cry, cry. It's all about turning that switch on and off. It teaches the skill of turning off the emotion when it's time to do so. I used to want teams and players with ice water in their veins. Never too up, never too down. Keenan Mahoney showed me the folly in that line of thinking.

 

 

On a personal level, I view feelings as fleeting. They pop into your mind, and your reasoning self should take over. It's not a lack of feelings. It's just a recognition that they wane with time. We all have a filter. For some that filter end just shy of obnoxious comments. For some that filter is so weak they physically fight. I've been on a lot of teams, and I've never seen someone blow up in anger and then followed by the come back story. At the same time, I don't want people to bottle it all up. Speak your peace, but remember that you're emotions are fleeting, but your bonds should last a lifetime. How many bonds should you make in your life time? As many good ones as you can get. Before I speak I remember that if I'm about to say something, it should be for the good of the other person. If I'm just trying to taunt or provoke, it's not to help them.

Deaths while walking 4,743Deaths from football 12


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Coach Kyle
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Posted by: @immiru

"For Youth, as it crosses the threshold into manhood, football has become a rallying point to build courage when courage seems to die, to restore faith when there seems little cause for faith, to create hope as hope becomes forlorn."  
 
                                                               – General Douglas MacArthur
 ​

I like that a lot. Courage, resilience, and teamwork. I knew I was missing an obvious one. Thank you.

Deaths while walking 4,743Deaths from football 12


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Bob Goodman
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An attitude of commitment.  It doesn't work without regularly showing up physically and mentally, especially with so high a ratio of practice to play time.


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Bob Goodman
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Posted by: @coach-kyle

Embracing and controlling aggression also sounds like a bunch of words I wouldn't choose. There have been some studies on whether hitting a punching bag is a release of anger or if it merely provokes more. Turns out, it provokes more. So I stay away from that approach.

That's why there's a lot more to it than hitting a bag.

I might not like using the word "masculine" either for what Gumby brought out, but I gotta admit it fits better than any other short description I can think of.  The funny thing is, the commitment aspect that I first thought of that football teaches is more a feminine than a masculine thing.


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CoachDP
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Posted by: @bob-goodman

The funny thing is, the commitment aspect that I first thought of that football teaches is more a feminine than a masculine thing.

🤣 🙄 

"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

The Mission Statement: "I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go."

#BattleReady newhope


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Coach Kyle
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Posted by: @bob-goodman
Posted by: @coach-kyle

Embracing and controlling aggression also sounds like a bunch of words I wouldn't choose. There have been some studies on whether hitting a punching bag is a release of anger or if it merely provokes more. Turns out, it provokes more. So I stay away from that approach.

That's why there's a lot more to it than hitting a bag.

I might not like using the word "masculine" either for what Gumby brought out, but I gotta admit it fits better than any other short description I can think of.  The funny thing is, the commitment aspect that I first thought of that football teaches is more a feminine than a masculine thing.

I really like commitment as a trait, but I don't think it's football specific. Doesn't fit the "like no other aspect".

And that whole masculine feminine distinction just seems unimportant, which is why I don't like using the word. It forces an unnecessary paradigm. What matters is the actual values that make up masculine. Bravery for example, I would never want to tell someone that only men should be brave. I would never want a man to feel as though he shouldn't have compassion because it's not masculine. 

Deaths while walking 4,743Deaths from football 12


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gumby_in_co
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Posted by: @coach-kyle

I really like commitment as a trait, but I don't think it's football specific. Doesn't fit the "like no other aspect".

And that whole masculine feminine distinction just seems unimportant, which is why I don't like using the word. It forces an unnecessary paradigm. What matters is the actual values that make up masculine. Bravery for example, I would never want to tell someone that only men should be brave. I would never want a man to feel as though he shouldn't have compassion because it's not masculine. 

That's why it's important to me. I want to break that paradigm. The one I grew up under and eventually turned away from. The one that says it's okay to pick on weaker people, or disparage gays, or treat women poorly, etc. etc. I get to teach kids that masculinity means to carry yourself with honor, respect, stoicism, courage . . . on and on. That is absolutely not limited to men/boys.

More and more, I see young boys who are a) not taught what it means to be a man b) taught the wrong way to be a man or c) taught that masculinity is bad. So I see football as my only opportunity to teach kids a) what it means to be masculine b) the right way to be masculine and c) it's okay to be masculine. I don't limit that to boys, either. Everyone, male or female is masculine and feminine to some degree. 

 

When in doot . . . glass and oot.


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