Why kids quit footb...
 
Notifications
Clear all

Why kids quit football?

Page 4 / 5

CoachDP
(@coachdp)
Kryptonite
Joined: 11 years ago
Posts: 17794
 

I know the type you refer to, they seem to be few and far between to me. Maybe the issue is you.

--Oh, it's definitely my issue.  Most other coaches seem fine with refs having a god-complex.

In the past 4 years, since I started with this new league I am at, which has patched refs,

--What is a patched ref?

He explains that at this age level he warns the coach the first time, because most coaches don't know that rule, he was surprised I did.

--Surprised that you "knew the rules?"  See?  And arrogant too.

I told him that's fine, but league procedure is for me to call a timeout so that I can get an explanation.  You refused to talk to me even though I was following procedure.  He still blew me off about it.

--God complex.

Perhaps your issues with refs are more on you, than it is them. 

--Of course it's more on me, because I have an issue with them.  That being said, I've never been ejected from a contest, nor ever had an unsportsmanlike penalty called on me.

I don't think it is absurd.  Its a perfectly valid reason to stop coaching so that you don't have to deal with over the top parents, especially for a youth coach that is volunteering.

--People quit for all sorts of reasons.  Coaching is hard.  Even when you're successful.  People talk about the money college and pro headers get.  To me, they pay a price that I wouldn't be willing to pay.  I wouldn't be cut out for it.  Just like some aren't cut out to deal with the situations of dealing with wacko parents.  Of course, it's easier (as Josh said) to blame the reason on others instead of taking responsibility for the issues.  "Oh I'm quitting.  They were mean to me."  lol. I've been threatened by parents, assaulted by them, yelled at from the stands, ugly phone calls and all that...Not in a very long time, but I've had all that.  But to blame someone else for the reason that your car doesn't run is ridiculous.

--Dave

"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

The Mission Statement: "I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go."

#BattleReady newhope


ReplyQuote
SingleWingGoombah
(@singlewinggoombah)
Gold
Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 2070
 

--Oh, it's definitely my issue.  Most other coaches seem fine with refs having a god-complex.

It sounds more like you have the god complex here.

--What is a patched ref?

Certified by HS governing board, My first 8 years coaching were in a rec league with no patched requirements, you could walk off the street and ref

--Surprised that you "knew the rules?"  See?  And arrogant too.

Surprised that I knew that rule... which I bet if you could somehow get an accurate number of how many youth coaches knew that was the rule... we would be looking at less than 50%, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt on that, it is an obscure rule.  What I did not give him a pass on is him not following the outlined procedure we have to address this.

--God complex.

As I said... this is the one issue with "god complex" that I have had.

--Of course it's more on me, because I have an issue with them.  That being said, I've never been ejected from a contest, nor ever had an unsportsmanlike penalty called on me.

Maybe their god complex isn't as far reaching as you thought then. 

--People quit for all sorts of reasons.  Coaching is hard.  Even when you're successful.  People talk about the money college and pro headers get.  To me, they pay a price that I wouldn't be willing to pay.  I wouldn't be cut out for it.  Just like some aren't cut out to deal with the situations of dealing with wacko parents.  Of course, it's easier (as Josh said) to blame the reason on others instead of taking responsibility for the issues.  "Oh I'm quitting.  They were mean to me."  lol. I've been threatened by parents, assaulted by them, yelled at from the stands, ugly phone calls and all that...Not in a very long time, but I've had all that.  But to blame someone else for the reason that your car doesn't run is ridiculous.

Its not blaming them. interpersonal reasons can have indirect outside influences. 


ReplyQuote
CoachDP
(@coachdp)
Kryptonite
Joined: 11 years ago
Posts: 17794
 

It sounds more like you have the god complex here.

--How's that?  I have a god complex because I say someone else has it?  lol. Nope, I'm just trying to coach my team.  It's the refs who want to influence the game according to their own whims.

Maybe their god complex isn't as far reaching as you thought then.

--No, they decide when they want to see a play succeed, or not, or when they want to invent their own rules.  "Hitting too hard," "Saying the offense can't cut within the FBZ" and some such.

Its not blaming them. interpersonal reasons can have indirect outside influences.

--Then we'll agree to disagree as to what "blame" is.

--Dave

"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

The Mission Statement: "I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go."

#BattleReady newhope


ReplyQuote
mahonz
(@mahonz)
Kryptonite
Joined: 11 years ago
Posts: 23130
 

lol. I've been threatened by parents, assaulted by them, yelled at from the stands, ugly phone calls and all that...Not in a very long time, but I've had all that.  But to blame someone else for the reason that your car doesn't run is ridiculous.

Physically assaulted?

What is beautiful, lives forever.


ReplyQuote
CoachDP
(@coachdp)
Kryptonite
Joined: 11 years ago
Posts: 17794
 

Physically assaulted?

Yes, in 2008.

--Dave

"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

The Mission Statement: "I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go."

#BattleReady newhope


ReplyQuote
sabot6d
(@sabot6d)
Bronze
Joined: 8 years ago
Posts: 398
 

I just went through this last season with my son.

All through youth ball he was a role player type of kid. Not big, not fast, not aggressive but he would do exactly what you told him to do as hard as he could.

He loved football. We had LOSING seasons and undefeated seasons. it didnt matter. He loved it.

7th grade he moves up to the middle school.
2 teams 19 players on each team for his school. He played in exactly 14 plays the entire season.

8th grade new coach (first year coach-science teacher-damn unions give teachers first shot even if they are unqualified)
1 team 30 players (thats a roughly 25% loss of players) He rotated in at cornerback with another kid in one half of one game. that was the only action that 15 kids on the roster of 30 saw all year.

9th grade.  Starting in february of his 8th grade year he is in the morning weight room sessions with the varsity and 3 JV players 5 days a week. Spends 4 days a week at skills camp for 90 minutes and strength/agility camp for 90 minutes.
Middle of July the freshman coach leaves the program to go to a different school (private parochial school offered his kid a scholarship and him a Varsity staff position plus a teaching position). school decides to promote the 8th grade coach to freshman coach. My son sticks out the offseason program but is very discouraged.
First day of practice they are scheduled from 2pm to 430pm then dinner and leadership training from 430 to 6 then back on the field for another practice from 6-8pm.  At 5pm my son comes rolling into the yard on his bike very upset, doesnt want to talk about it.  At bedtime I pull him aside and he let me know that from 2pm-430pm he got exactly 0 reps in any drill.  Every time it was his turn in line the coach would bump him for a better player (they put practice film on HUDL so i did verify the story and another assistant vouched for him as well.)

At almost midnight I get an email from the coach asking where my son went.  I was furious. First my boy is left in your care and it takes you 6 hours to reach out to me. Second 2.5 hours of trying to sneak into drills, volunteering for drills at positions he has never played but they wanted a body just being ignored after 6 months of being the only freshman in the Varsity offseason program. Straight up piss poor coaching. The freshman team had a total of 19 kids on it. (33% player loss) No they have enough players for a JV Lacrosse team though.

My son ended up running the clock for our youth program, reffing the flag division games and running the clock for my Varsity team.  He now has no interest in playing anymore. I told him to take a year off and he can come play for me if he wants but I doubt he will.

I did my best to stay positive through the MS years, hell he wanted to quit after 8th grade but the original freshman coach was awesome so i talked him into giving it another chance and not letting a bad coach ruin his love for the sport. No dice. Still loves the sport but I doubt he will ever decide to pad up again.  Maybe he will get into coaching someday.


ReplyQuote
mahonz
(@mahonz)
Kryptonite
Joined: 11 years ago
Posts: 23130
 

I just went through this last season with my son.

All through youth ball he was a role player type of kid. Not big, not fast, not aggressive but he would do exactly what you told him to do as hard as he could.

He loved football. We had LOSING seasons and undefeated seasons. it didnt matter. He loved it.

7th grade he moves up to the middle school.
2 teams 19 players on each team for his school. He played in exactly 14 plays the entire season.

8th grade new coach (first year coach-science teacher-damn unions give teachers first shot even if they are unqualified)
1 team 30 players (thats a roughly 25% loss of players) He rotated in at cornerback with another kid in one half of one game. that was the only action that 15 kids on the roster of 30 saw all year.

9th grade.  Starting in february of his 8th grade year he is in the morning weight room sessions with the varsity and 3 JV players 5 days a week. Spends 4 days a week at skills camp for 90 minutes and strength/agility camp for 90 minutes.
Middle of July the freshman coach leaves the program to go to a different school (private parochial school offered his kid a scholarship and him a Varsity staff position plus a teaching position). school decides to promote the 8th grade coach to freshman coach. My son sticks out the offseason program but is very discouraged.
First day of practice they are scheduled from 2pm to 430pm then dinner and leadership training from 430 to 6 then back on the field for another practice from 6-8pm.  At 5pm my son comes rolling into the yard on his bike very upset, doesnt want to talk about it.  At bedtime I pull him aside and he let me know that from 2pm-430pm he got exactly 0 reps in any drill.  Every time it was his turn in line the coach would bump him for a better player (they put practice film on HUDL so i did verify the story and another assistant vouched for him as well.)

At almost midnight I get an email from the coach asking where my son went.  I was furious. First my boy is left in your care and it takes you 6 hours to reach out to me. Second 2.5 hours of trying to sneak into drills, volunteering for drills at positions he has never played but they wanted a body just being ignored after 6 months of being the only freshman in the Varsity offseason program. Straight up piss poor coaching. The freshman team had a total of 19 kids on it. (33% player loss) No they have enough players for a JV Lacrosse team though.

My son ended up running the clock for our youth program, reffing the flag division games and running the clock for my Varsity team.  He now has no interest in playing anymore. I told him to take a year off and he can come play for me if he wants but I doubt he will.

I did my best to stay positive through the MS years, hell he wanted to quit after 8th grade but the original freshman coach was awesome so i talked him into giving it another chance and not letting a bad coach ruin his love for the sport. No dice. Still loves the sport but I doubt he will ever decide to pad up again.  Maybe he will get into coaching someday.

Wow...that is brutal.

I coached 3 seasons of HS Freshman ball and thought it was brutal how they did things but at least they developed players.

First rule no Freshmen ever played up....JV or V.

First 3 days in shells had around 100 kids. We ran a pre planned circuit combine. Header of the Program would show up for maybe 90 minutes total that first week. He would say nothing...just roam. At the end of the week he would hand us a list of jersey numbers of 25-30 kids to cut.

Next week the kids are in pads for a 3 day pre planned full pads combine circuit and the Header does the same thing with his cuts but then he would take a few chapters out of his 500 page play book and hand it to the Staff.

You now have 44 players to work with.... and you will play every one of them equally as much as possible ....and I dont care if you lose every game. Here are your systems. Run them to them letter or you will be replaced. See you at film next week.

So we two platooned all the players almost equally for 10 games regardless of the situation.  It was brutal cutting kids but those that made it though played....a lot. The Program was top 5 in the highest class every season.

It now sounds a lot more honest than what they put you son thru but your son at least thought he had a chance and that motivated him. The kids we had to cut were kicked to the curb for good. It was rather ugly. One of the main reasons I didn't last.

What is beautiful, lives forever.


ReplyQuote
Coach E
(@coache)
Gold
Joined: 11 years ago
Posts: 1113
 

I just went through this last season with my son.
...

I remember reading this a while back and thinking how similar. My older boy quit because of the 10th grade coach and never went back. The kid is not huge, blinding fast or able to throw a country mile, but he could really do anything on the field and do it well. He wanted to play WR, but the coach only played the fastest kids there, never mind whether they could catch. The two starters got all of the indy time and my son (and the other 9 WRs) got NONE.

My younger son is riding it out. His friends all play and he wants to be there with them, knowing the coach won't put him in. He'll be a senior this fall, but he is done with the weight room and the off-season practices. Like your son, he did all that up to and through this past season as a junior and got zero plays at varsity and never saw the field after the 5th JV game (out of 9). He is joining the military and will be away for basic this summer. At first he was kind of regretting missing his final summer session, but as he thought about it, he doesn't mind at all.

One story from last season: The varsity is getting beat bad in a game - offense only has 1 first down and the defense can't seem to figure out how to stop the other team. Shortly after the start of the 4th quarter, coach puts in the JV. They get the ball and march right down the field and score. They get the 2 point conversion. JV defense goes in and forces a three and out. JV offense goes in and gets the ball inside the other team's 10 when the coach pulls the JV and puts in the varsity. They lose 20+ yards and miss the field goal. Varsity defense goes in and the other team scores in 6 plays. Back in goes the JV offense and after 30+ yards gained and their second first down, coach pulls them again for the varsity. 4 and out. JV defense finishes the game, not allowing the first down as time runs out. My son says in the locker room the coach goes on and on about not playing hard as a team and how poorly the team executed throughout the game. The team should be ashamed of the performance they put on. Not a single word about the JV.

One kid turned in his gear after the game.

My son says at least 10 juniors won't return, but we'll see.

They did this same thing at 9th and 10th grade level, where they had an A team and a B team. B team would move the ball and an A team member would be put in to score the TD. I don't understand it. If you're trying to develop players, why limit yourself to only the starting 22 when you have 40-50 to work with? The coaches seem truly mystified why kids are quitting.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.- Marcus Aurelius


ReplyQuote
Bob Goodman
(@bob-goodman)
Diamond
Joined: 10 years ago
Posts: 9601
 

7th grade he moves up to the middle school.
2 teams 19 players on each team for his school....

8th grade new coach
1 team 30 players (thats a roughly 25% loss of players)

Now, see, this is what you have to look at: the stats.  It's no use asking why kids quit football as individuals, because they all have different reasons you can't do anything about.  But you see bad numbers like this, then you know it's related to a cause, such as what sabot6d laid out.


ReplyQuote
PSLCOACHROB
(@pslcoachrob)
Kryptonite
Joined: 9 years ago
Posts: 12408
 

Now Ill say this, sometimes when a coach is tightening the screws in a poor culture, kids quit, not because they don't like football or the coach but because they don't want the discipline....that can happen.

Look at what Scott Frost did at Nebraska this last season. The bad apples left and what he was left with was the kids who were football players. They lost talent but were a much better team at the end of the year for it. I wish Taggart would of done the same at FSU. He allowed the same culture that existed with Fisher during his last few years to fester which ended up creating their worst season in 40 years. Taggart should of cleaned house of all the bs attitudes they have on the team.


ReplyQuote
coacho
(@coacho)
Silver
Joined: 11 years ago
Posts: 659
 

If we feel connected, a link, to a program, school or organization there is usually never a concern with quitting. The key word is CONNECTED. When a disconnect occurs we develop kids that will quit and parents get angry. Kids love to talk, laugh and just be with us. I tell my coaches, "We have to know their story before we can show them the glory!". 


ReplyQuote
davecisar
(@davecisar)
Diamond
Joined: 11 years ago
Posts: 7679
 

The reason kids quit:
They arent having fun
They dont feel valued
They dont feel part of the team
Sometimes- if a team is getting waxed every week

However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.Winston Churchill


ReplyQuote
spidermac
(@spidermac)
Gold
Joined: 10 years ago
Posts: 2462
 

Okay...this is a topic we should all be concerned with...and I have had a lot of time to consider it...when I first started as a head coach, I was the team that got waxed every week...on the wrong end of the fast clock...but we returned boys, in the 95% range every season...and I had parents come up to me at registration asking if I would draft their kid...and my reply would be "You know I haven't won a single game in two years right?" and they would say, "But we heard you teach the boys"...

I heard that enough that I started looking at that...my second team...we were actually pretty good...we had some really good athletes and some kids who had trouble walking and chewing gum when we got them...but we taught them...the good athletes became football players...the kids who had trouble walking and chewing gum became football players. We coached the roster from the bottom to the top, and kids got better, they got results they could see...both individually and as a team.

One season, we kicked the teeth in of a team whose header I didn't really care for...I could have run up the score at the end, but I took a knee with about 2:00 minutes left and a first and goal situation...after the game, coach came up to me and said "I just couldn't do anything, I only had a handful of players"...which I took as a left handed compliment...he was saying I was loaded, and that was the only reason we won. His team had plenty of talent, they just weren't coached well...my son, who was in high school at the time was there to hear the exchange...on the way home we talked about it...I asked, do we really have more "players" than he does? My son replied...well yeah, but that's because you teach your kids how to play, he only cares about his athletes. I then asked...could we win games with his roster, and my son replied, no doubt...

Same coach has run off players...I ended up with one of them...parents told me that coach bullied and ridiculed their son...we taught him...he loved football once he became a Dawg...I liked Dave C's list, not sure I agree with the order he typed them in...Love them (valued, part of the team), Teach them and allow them to contribute (having fun and part of the team)…

Starting with my third team...I have one kid who I think is going to quit...he hates running...the header for the team last season always started the practice with laps and ended it with sprints...the kid hated it, and tried everything he could to get out of it...he was not having fun with it...we are doing spring...mom wants him to do spring...the boy does not want to do spring...my guess, he hated the running so much that he doesn't want to "play football" anymore...I am calling mom tonight, going to explain that we do not run for the sake of running...we condition in other ways, that the boys will have fun with...

None of them suck, they just haven't found what the kid is good at yet.


ReplyQuote
gumby_in_co
(@gumby_in_co)
Platinum
Joined: 11 years ago
Posts: 4423
 

We had 3 1st graders quit this season on a 2nd grade team.

Rylan: It was right at weigh ins. I don't know if he weighed in or not. You'd have to ask Mahonz. Anyway, we got an email or text from the parents something to the effect of "After much thought and consideration, Rylan will no longer continue with the Outlaws. Our values and beliefs are just different." So, I jumped the kid pretty good the last practice before he quit. We were running o vs d and Rylan was on D. We were trying to get as many reps as quickly as possible and Rylan thought it was hilarious to hit the ball out of the RB's hands after the play as he was running the ball back to ball coach. I told him twice to knock it off. The third time, I yelled a little and sent him on a lap. When he came back, he was crying and pouting. Arms crossed, chin in his chest, etc. I told him I loved him, but he has to do what he's told. On the next play, he made a pretty good tackle, so I really played it up. Not sure if that's why he quit, but I suspect it is.

Isaac: Broke his arm at school right after game 1. Mom told us he wanted to play once he healed and that he'd be coming to practice to watch as soon as the pain was manageable. Then, heard from Mom after he was cleared to practice, but the kid never showed up. In an ironic twist, the kid told us on day 1 that his nickname was "Bonecrusher". I guess I was wrong to assume he was talking about other peoples' bones.

Josiah: Kid went on vacation after game 1. While on vacation, told us that the vacation would be going a little longer. Car trouble? Can't remember. Then, they stopped responding to calls, emails, etc. Never saw the kid again. They lived a long way from our practice field. Mahonz suspects that may have something to do with it.

Why did they quit? I'm not sure it really matters to me. Maybe 1st/2nd graders aren't the best age group to measure this. Nearly all players and parents are new to football. So maybe the question is "why do kids quit after having played a few seasons?". I don't know. It used to bother me a lot when a kid quit. Now, I prefer to focus on the kids who want to be there.

When in doot . . . glass and oot.


ReplyQuote
CoachDP
(@coachdp)
Kryptonite
Joined: 11 years ago
Posts: 17794
 

It used to bother me a lot when a kid quit. Now, I prefer to focus on the kids who want to be there.

Lar, it's kind of funny/interesting how you and I have flip-flopped on this over the years.  Years ago, I was the guy who focused on the ones who wanted to be there, and it didn't bother me if they quit.  ("Either you like steak, or you don't.  If you don't, I'm not going to try and convince you how good it is."). Nowadays, we're chasing them all down.  Not saying yours or my approach is superior to the other.  Just interesting that you've changed your outlook coaching youth kids and I changed my outlook coaching high school kids.  I suspect I changed my POV when I started looking at the "mission-aspect" of what we were doing.  Either that, or I just got tired of having Cisar blast me about it.  😉

--Dave

"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

The Mission Statement: "I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go."

#BattleReady newhope


ReplyQuote
Page 4 / 5
Share: