hello everyone, first post on dumcoach so thanks for having me.
I have a major dilemma I am dealing with so I'm hoping some of you may have some experience or have came across a similar situation.
a little background to set things up
I am coaching 14u youth football running the Sherwood Wing T offense and this is my first year coaching with this particular team. I have no children on this team but a son 2 levels down. I can't stand the DaddyBall. I mean of course its good to coach your son but I feel you shouldn't let your son play just because he is your son...
After all were trying to teach these boys the the skills and tools needed to be great young men. skills that can be used in all aspects of life not just on the football field..
I was originally brought on as the QB coach but since working with the QBs, running the offense, and some necessary staffing changes I have been made the offensive coordinator.
So here's the dilemma.
I have two QBs one of which is the coaches son. Since I first met with the coaches to see if I would be brought onto the coaching staff they have pushed the fact that our starting QB is also our MLB. Since working with the 2 it has quickly came to my realization that our "backup" has the better arm, is more of a leader, wants to make appropriate changes to better his performance, and can quite frankly make a play happen no matter the situation. Our "starter" I find to seemingly have the desire to be a MLB much more than the starting QB. Also he is hardheaded and doesn't like the criticism or want to make the adjustments needed, is quick to point the blame elsewhere, uses the bag to smash kids to the ground, messes around way more than acceptable, and it appears has a difficult time retaining all the offensive and defensive information necessary to excel in both positions. I have heard him say "well my dad taught me this way" more times than id like to admit. His father played MLB in college, not Qb. all the fundamentals taught to this kid were wrong at every level.
What i'm reaching out to you guys for is, a little bit of advice on how to approach the situation? I had another coach come to me recently pointing out that our "backup" clearly has the better arm and should be our #1. I have told dad that he's going to have to choose which he wants to be. It's not possible for him to be both positions that are complete polar opposites
I think it really shakes out as either we have a decent MLB and starting QB or we have a hell of a MLB and a hell of a QB. but we can't have both with 1 player.
thanks,
Coach C
Coach
I'd resign and go coach on your sons team...like....yesterday. Even if they hire you to be the assistant to the assistant dunny holder.
You only get so march time to do this and its time that will be unlike no other you spend with your son. I coached my son thru youth ball and in HS but as the Freshman OC as he played Varsity for 3 seasons. But we were still on the same "team". Spectacular QB and played the position in College. Coached two of my grandsons at the youth level. One is currently playing in College and doing very well. The other decided football wasn't his deal.
That is time I would not trade for anything ESPECIALLY the drama of coaching on someone elses daddyball team.
Point is you cant evade it so why run from it?
Or....just tell the "coach' his son is MIKE and your backup will be the starter at QB. Its a very common problem we all face so either deal with it or....deal with it if you know what I mean.
Good luck 👍
What is beautiful, lives forever.
Or....just tell the "coach' his son is MIKE and your backup will be the starter at QB. Its a very common problem we all face so either deal with it or....deal with it if you know what I mean.
^ This
As coaches we do what is best of the kids, but also for the team. The Daddyball is good for neither. You've been given a job to do, do the job. THe results will take care of themselves.
BTW: Am I reading this correctly? The MLB and QB are automatically the same kid? That's nuts.
Umm.... why does that 6 ft tall 9 yr old have a goatee...?
What's a QB??? I have a running back that throw on occasion! LOL
After all were trying to teach these boys the the skills and tools needed to be great young men. skills that can be used in all aspects of life not just on the football field..
--Well yeah, in a perfect world. But in the world of Daddyball where it's more about Daddy than Junior, this is how it is. Universally, unfortunately.
What i'm reaching out to you guys for is, a little bit of advice on how to approach the situation? I had another coach come to me recently pointing out that our "backup" clearly has the better arm and should be our #1. I have told dad that he's going to have to choose which he wants to be. It's not possible for him to be both positions that are complete polar opposites
--Are you in a position to make the determination? If so, decide on your starter. If not, then there's little you can do other than have the discussion with whatever coach who's in position to decide it. Am I missing something here?
--Dave
"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."
The Mission Statement: "I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go."
#BattleReady newhope
Coach
I'd resign and go coach on your sons team...like....yesterday. Even if they hire you to be the assistant to the assistant dunny holder.
I'd go one better. Keep in mind I now have zero patience for coach drama. I'm blessed to be surrounded by dear friends and family on the coaching staff.
Put the best QB at starting QB. Period. Any push back, reply: "You hired me as OC. That's my QB. I do not care whom you play at MLB." Then be stubborn about it. Don't quit. Force him to fire you. Then, it's clear to everyone that he fired his OC because you refused to start his son at QB. Once he fires you, go join your son's staff as assistant to the assistant water boy and enjoy life.
Or, he lets you keep the better QB. Win, win.
Game plan? I got your game plan. We gonna run the bawl some. We gonna throw the bawl some. We gonna play some defense. We gonna run some special teams, but we better not run kick return but one time and we sure as heck better not punt.
Welp, how much is the header going to appreciate your honesty assessment?
Maybe the kid would be better off just playing Mike backer or another position on offense.
My suggestion is approach with a plan to announce the other kid as the starting QB with a plan b for the coaches son. This will help diffuse (hopefully) any negative reaction or feedback. If the header says no his son is to be QB then that's a start of bigger problem of you stay.
It's early enough in the season if you leave it won't effect the kids nearly as much as the season progresses.
Good luck, keep us posted.
I can explain it to you, I can't understand if for you.
First, let me say I agree with Coach mahonz on this one. My oldest is in junior high and I more than likely won't get to coach my middle son for his last year in youth ball. Time just went by too fast!!
With that said, if you're going stay where you're at...
I've been where you are a few times. Most recently, my son was just ahead of another QB on the depth chart. While everyone and their brother wanted my son to be the QB, I ended up moving him to center because he was the only kid that could make the shotgun / pistol snap consistently. To this day people still bring that up... and my wife doesn't even want me coaching my middle son in football for that reason (and that happened three years ago).
But, it was the right thing to do for the team.
Why am I bringing this up?
Simply put: you have to do what's best for the team at every position, regardless of how popular it is with everyone else. From how you described the situation, it's clear that you know who to put at Mike and who to put under center. Since this probably gives your team the best chance to win, you'd be doing the right thing for the team and it sounds like for those two specific kids.
And, there's nothing saying you can't bring in the MLB in certain situations when you need someone big and nasty to get the tough yard. That's something you might want to bring up in Psycho Dad makes an issue of it. Of course, I've had so many people scream at me for things over the past 5 years (e.g. Coach doesn't yell enough, Coach makes me play sides of the ball) that I'm almost totally numb to it.
Fight 'em until Hell freezes over, then fight 'em on the ice -- Dutch Meyer
so, here's the update fellas. thank you all for your advice and inputs..
I went with my gut. I talked to the other coach, who's son was the "starting qb" told him I think it would be best to have him as our back up qb and start him at FB. This kid is an animal in the sense that he runs the ball hard, hits hard, doesn't give up, and is a team player. The coach was understanding and just stated that he didn't want his son to think that he failed at being good enough for the position but rather he would be more beneficial to the team at the FB position. I totally understand his concern and don't want any kid to feel like a failure, in the world of youth football we don't want kids to get discouraged. talked to my two QBs and told them the news.. they already knew as the other coach told his son and his son told the other QB his friend. lol but things have been seeming to work as we skunked our first two opponents and put up 70 points combined.. third game was a tough one as we played our town rival.. winning the first two games caused our players to get big headed, not take the practices seriously, and forget their blocking assignments, and well all assignments... this resulted in our town rivals coming out to play and outplaying us.. we lost 12-6. the kids had heart, never gave up, and put the 6 points up on the last play of the game.. We're a solid team, breaking things down back to basics... our loss was a non league game, so we are still undefeated so we're chasing the championship now.. good luck coaches.. thanks again
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